Story of Þroudr Ólæfssun
Introduction & Chapter 1
The Family and Youth of Þroudr Ólæfssun
There was once a man named Þroud, son of Ólæf and Veyn. Þroud was a man of pleasure, and in his youth, he spent more time feasting and enjoying pleasures than he spent working and learning. Ólæf was a hard-working man who disapproved of his son's hedonistic lifestyle and lack of interest in the family's work, which the family was known for their prosperous merchant trade in the sea of Jaustaur.
When Þroudr came of the age of adulthood, Þroudr continued to ignore his responsibilities to chase after his lustful, greedy, and lavish cravings. He was content with the comfort his family's wealth brought him and used his family's wealth to secure his insatiable desires, never working a day in the fields, working the forge, or taming the seas by ship. Over time he grew bored with this lifestyle
The Banishment of Þroud from Saustæð
One evening during Þrouds 20th winter, his father Ólæf decided to intervene during one of the feasts his son was participating in. “Dýrja óssr” Ólæf exclaims as he enters the feast hall, his eyes catching the depravity of the situation that lay before him. His ears bombarded with the sounds of drunken cheers, argument, and pleasure of a more lustful variety. Amid the chaos of it, all stood Þroud in the center of it. Two of the village húrr sitting to either side of him. When Þroudr caught sight of his father and his disgusted face, he quickly reacted with anger. “Vaðir'' Þroudr shouts from his seat at the end of the feast hall. “Why have you brought yourself, who reeks of displeasure to this hall of abundance?” he shouts interrogatively—the húrr laugh at this show of force by Þroudr. “Jøf sunn” Ólæf begins. “I give you gold that this family earns so you can build a life for yourself,” He says sternly. “But I did not give this gold for you to waste it on ale and hired women ''. “You have misused this money given to you by your kinsmen, and you do not pay us back with work or gratitude” he shouts. “And why work when our clan has enough money to feast for a lifetime? '' Responds Þroudr. “We do not work just for the riches, my son, '' says Ólæf. “Without our trade, the neighboring villages would not have enough iron to forge their weapons, our village would not have enough grain for the winter, and the Sveanir across the sea wouldn’t have enough fish to feed their villages,” He says. “We are the lifeblood for the people of the Jaustaur '' He says authoritatively. But Þroud wasn’t listening. “My son, if you do not change your ways, your kinsmen will not continue supporting your lifestyle. You must work for the money we give you.” Ólæf declares. “You wouldn’t dare cut me off vaðir” shouts Þroud. “I am afraid that the clan council has spoken. You must earn this clan's wealth from this day on” Says Ólæf disappointed in the man his son has become. Blinded by anger Þroud strikes his father with a knife. Ólæf falls backward onto the feast hall table. The feast hall goes silent with horror. Ólæf condemns his son. “You dare strike your father with your knife. You have committed an act of the highest judgment. Leave this village at once, and do not think about crawling back to your kinsmen. You are banished from the village of Saustað, and are no longer a member of Clan Ývind”. “Fine then!” Yells Þroud in rage. “I don’t need my kinsmen's gold! I will live like this wherever I go!” He declares before storming out of the feast hall and to his longhouse to gather his things before leaving Saustað.
(End of Chapter)
Guide to Old-Jöstish words and phrases used in this chapter
Jaustaur = Baltic Sea (Eastern Sea)
Dýrja óssr = exclamation of shock, disgust, or disappointment akin to “dear god”
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Húrr = Adulteress/Prostitute
Vaðir = Father
Jøf sunn = My son
Swǽnn = Swedes
Leave suggestions on where the story should go, improvements I could make, or words of kindnes down here :)
I like it, lots of potential.
My only criticism is that you could perhaps describe more the setting in which they're in. Doesn't have to be a perfect picture, but I was left not knowing how it is like where this takes place. Ofc I assume it's cold and snowy and such and such, but how does the reader know if, say, they have never ever heard about Scandinavia, the Vikings, the concept of a snowy place and being cold, a village, etc etc?
It helps a lot in immersing yourself in a story if you can get the vibes or make a mental picture of where you are.
Also, and maybe this is just your style and that's okay, but I would personally try to introduce these bits of language things like the Baltic sea word throughout the story rather than putting a list beforehand. You might have plans to change that in the future, in which case awesome bananas, but it does feel like "homework" of sorts that the reader Must do before reading your cool story.
Imo it can be done much differently, you can slip these little bits under the reader's nose without them even noticing, and explain them seamlessly by just hinting at their meaning (like replacing "My God" with its equivalent in places where this expression is expected, etc...), or by incorporating them into the story, so that if they talk about this they have to explain or suggest what it means and, at the same time, advance the plot.
Otherwise it's pretty good, I like it. Keep going!!